Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Alyssa Milano: My Femme Fatale
In my quest to bring some much needed relief to my fatigue, frustration and long days, today I present to you my Femme Fatale - Alyssa Milano. Why have I emboldened the word 'present' you wonder? Here's why; I was tempted to write 'give' instead of 'present' and that would have a huge mistake on my part. It is of the utmost importance that each and everyone one of you knows that Alyssa Milano is M-I-N-E. In fact while we are on the subject I think it is critical to lay down a few ground rules. Rule # 1: No one shall look at any of these pictures posted for more that 1 min 30 secs. Any time over that would be considered ogling and there is quite a harsh penalty to bear for that. Rule #2: No one shall utter any words that would in the slightest suggest that they are even a tad overly excited at any of said pictures. Rule #3: If it so happens that you are moved by these pictures and feel the need to leave a comment, please refrain from using the words "I", "think" or "want". For example you are not allowed to write, "I think Alyssa is hot and I want her
to be mine autograph." Why is this an issue? Because it makes it personal to you. This is NOT allowed! The proper and acceptable comment to leave should read something like this, "Alyssa Milano is totally hot and sexy and it would be nice to have her autograph."
As you may have noticed, I am very possessive of her. I'm not jealous in the least; heck no, I'm above that! I just always protect what is mine. Alyssa is to me what Tina Fey is to my friend over at Surrenders. If you are not familiar with Surrenders, then let me lay this out for you - Dorothy is so hooked on Tina Fey that she even invents words in her honor. Take for example Fey-minism, smartheart (and the like).
Now I may not go as far as inventing words in Milano's honor, however, I can assure you that I have a room exclusively dedicated to her. In fact, I visit this shrine at least twice per day. But that is kinda beside the point. I should get back to the issue at hand: My Femme Fatale.
In all fairness to my readers, I think it is fitting that we all have an unquestionable understanding of what femme fatale means so that the magnitude of my infatuation with Miss Milano is not lost or underestimated in any way.
a) A French phrase with the literal translation "fatal woman." A femme fatale is a sensuous, alluring woman who often leads men (or women) into danger.
b) An irresistibly attractive woman who leads men (or women) to destruction.
c) An attractive woman who leads men (or women) into difficult or doomed situations.
d) Enchantress: a woman who is considered to be dangerously seductive (I love this definition most)
e) A femme fatale (plural: femmes fatales) is an alluring and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. (I've changed my mind, I love this one most and the other second)
f) An attractive and seductive but ultimately dangerous woman.
Have you seen the latest Citicard commercial with Mary J. Blige in the elevator with the other young woman? Go out to Youtube and view it. But I'll give you a brief outline of it. Mary J Blige gets into an elevator with just this other young woman in it and the woman is a huge fan and you hear her thoughts out loud thinking of all the things she wants to say Blige. Shortly afterwards the elevator stops, Blige gets out and leaves the woman feeling like a fool because she realized that in all her excitement to be so close to Blige she was unable to utter even one word. That's the effect that Milano has on me.
Alyssa Jane Milano is an actress and former singer. She began her career at the age on 8 playing Annie in a national Broadway tour. She made her major television debut at the age of 11 when she won the role of Samantha Micelli on Who's the Boss? alongside Tony Danza. This is a role that Milano became best known for.
Today, there is no doubt that her most successful, accomplished and famous role has been playing Phoebe Halliwell on the supernatural series Charmed. She has also renowned for her clothing line Touch. Currently you catch her as she has recurring roles in My Name is Earl.
Alyssa has long shed her little girl image that in some ways plagued her after leaving Who's the Boss? Everyone kinda expected her to keep playing those squeaky-clean type roles, but Milano had other things in mind. She wanted to be taken seriously and be given more challenging and diverse roles.
Her body of work includes Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story, Confessions of a Sorority Girl, Deadly Sins, Fear, Melrose Place, Wisegal and Pathology. Her latest project which is in production will be starring in ABC's new TV series Single with Parents.
Milano has won 6 awards so far in her career and have been nominated an additional 5 times. Her wins are all from her role in Who's the Boss? and include 3 Young Artist Awards - Best Young Supporting Actress, Exceptional Performance by a Young Actress and Best Young Female Superstar; 2 Kids' Choice Awards - both for Favorite TV Actress and 1 Blimp Award for Favorite TV Actress.
Milano has had 5 albums released in Japan which all went platinum (sales of over one million copies) - Alyssa, Look In My Heart, Best In The World, Locked In a Dream and Do You See Me? She has a younger brother who also acted but has now formed his own band Chloroform Days of which he is the lead singer.
I feel compelled to remind you all once more of the rules above. I can certainly understand that my Sex Goddess presents almost unbearable temptation to one and all; male and female alike, but just think of this as an extreme lesson in exercising self-control. Now that I think about it, you should all be heaping loads of gratitude on me for helping you all so much.
Alyssa Milano has always been and forever remains my femme fatale. She's a sex goddess in every sense of the word. She's my ultimate temptation. She's out-of-this-world hot. She's so intensely hot, that it would be next to impossible to compose a sentence with Alyssa and the word 'cold' in it (this here sentence does not count).
Alyssa Milano sends my hormones into a rage. Her beauty is indescribable (at least for me, I'd get all tongue-tied if I tried). Alyssa Milano rocks my world. I always knew there was something else about her; something that causes erotic, impassioned, lustful and salacious waves to flow through my brain and now I've figured it out - she is of Italian descent.
Go Italy!!! That's all I have to say. I will say no more about it for it may cause allusion to the fact that I find Italian women irresistibly and flagrantly sexy. I must contain myself and not reveal so many of my secrets.
So yes, I was definitely charmed by Milano from the very first time I laid eyes on her. And no, she doesn't need a book, all she has to do is cast those sexy, alluring, tempting eyes on me and she will have me deep under her spell.