Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear Santa: My Xmas List

Dear Santa: It's that time of year; for giving and getting and spreading good cheer. So in the spirit of the Season I wish to make all of my readers and visitors' holidays as joyful as can be. I've been really really good all year through so now here's my Xmas Wish list to you. "How does this bring cheer to your readers?" I hear you ask. Why, it's very simple really. You give to me and I share with them. You see what I mean, right? I'm not selfish at all; I share and share alike. I don't think my list will be difficult to fill. I'll keep it very simple; I promise I will. Just a few 'items' to celebrate the occasion and not just to celebrate for on cold days they will be absolutely motivational. Okay, okay, I'll cut to the chase. I know you're a very busy man and don't have time to waste. But one more thing, just in case someone else has the same request. I suggest you compare our goodness and surely I will be deemed the best. So in this I take comfort; I will not worry. I just need to have my request filled in a hurry. So many gifts so little time. Don't ask me why I'm composing this post in the form of poetical rhyme. When I started it certainly was not the intention but it seems my thoughts and fingers have made that decision. My list, ah yes, on with the show. Please see what I wish listed below: First of all, I'd like Toni Braxton. Deliver her to me in any form or fashion. Next on the list is the lovely Tina Fey. Winter, snow storm, blizzard, she will brighten my day. Then to follow, I'd like Sonia Rolland, former Miss France. When it gets too cold we will put the music on and do a fancy dance. Send me Sofia Milos, the hottie from Switzerland so we can sit before the fireplace, her hand in my hand. My list also includes Shakira, belly dancer/singer from Colombia. I won't tell you the things I'd like to do to and with her. My next request makes me a little hot under the collar. This is why I know you won't hesitate to let me have her. For with all the cold Winter, having her will definitely reduce the bill of running the heater. Sarah Shahi is an absolute necessity on my list. Roselyn Sanchez is another request. Having would make this Christmas the absolute best. Poppy Montgomery, well I've seen her once or twice. I think having her around especially on Christmas Eve would be very very very nice. I foresee that there will be some nights when I might have trouble falling asleep; nights when just the sound of a certain voice, a certain touch or certain other things would ensure rest that's undisturbed and truly deep. For this I will need Phylicia Rashad. Having her would make me excessively glad. Please, please, please Santa let me have Mariska Hargitay. She is sure to keep me merry, happy and gay! For days that I might be bored and can think of nothing to do from keeping blue, please Santa let me have the gorgeous and energetic Lucy Lui. Before I make my next request, just let me say. This is someone I've been keeping an eye on. Who is she? Without a doubt, it's Lauren London. There isn't much that I can say about my next request. How she maintains her hotness is just about as good as anyone's guess. Laura Linney started her career in 1992 and since then she's been blazing a trail from here all the way to Timbuktu. Dear Santa, I'm tempted to say. If you have to cut everyone else out of the least at least leave this one because with her my night turns to day. I love her. I adore her. She makes my heart flutter and my knees go weak. If I look into her eyes for too long, I'm unable to speak. You just have to send me Jodie Foster. All my life I've lusted, desired and yearned for her. As my list grows and comes closer and closer to the end, I find I have to sit back more and more in my chair because on my own strength I can no longer depend. All these women are so gorgeous; they're taking my breath away. Soon I will be left without words to say. A classic example to show how I feel; yes... go ahead, take a lot at the contagiously sweet, beautiful, warm, breath-taking, hot and sexy Jennifer Beals. The next on my list is sizzling, jaw-dropping, tantalizing; heck she's got to be from another planet. Santa you know I must be referring to the incomparable Miss Janet. Santa this next one should be a cinch. For with her, you are assured that this Christmas there can be no Grinch; all you have to do to ensure this is to bring me sexy blue-eyed hottie Jane Lynch. I know, I know Santa, this list seems to go on and on but I can't help it I have to make sure everyone is covered. 'Tis the time to be happy I can't take any chance of anyone's spirit being lowered. So allow me the time to certify that all are merry. To help me do this, I'll need Halle Berry. I haven't ask yet, but already it makes me sigh. This next beauty is candy and fodder for the eye. I've been in love with her for a truly long time. Having her for Christmas will give my life meaning and rhyme. She soothes my soul, she takes my blues away and not just for the Season but on any given day. Dearest sweet Eva La Rue, believe when I say, "I've got the hots for you!" Santa, my final request is for Alicia Keys. I confess it; this bombshell brings me to my knees. I can't think of very many things I would do for her, if any at all. I'll run butt naked in the snow just so my name she'll call. And when she starts to sing... play those piano keys, my head gets all whirly birdie it makes me think of things to make her say please, please, please... Things that will transport the two of us out of this world... things that will definitely make toes curl... I think I should stop now because so far I've kept it clean. And I want my wishes to be granted; gotta stay on the nice list, do you see what I mean?